A modern spiritual classic first published in 1953 by Eugen Herrigel called Zen in the Art of Archery counsels that when it comes to hitting a target, aim, but never push, the arrow. This is equally true when it comes to fertility. We can practice and aim, that is, prepare ourselves in every possible way, but we always must be aware that there are no guarantees, so there's no point in "pushing," especially when the moment comes to pursue the goal. To receive a child means being receptive -- remember, the uterus is a receptacle. Receptivity implies passivity, meaning you should not overly contrive in order to receive.
I call this attitude "Zen and the Art of Fertility." Zen philosophy teaches us that sometimes the more we aim and focus, the more often we will be off the mark. A recent study conducted in a San Diego fertility clinic and published in the April 2004 issue of Fertility and Sterility found the harder a woman tries to get pregnant -- the more focused and worried she is -- the less successful her efforts will be. The research team studied 150 women seeking in vitro fertilization or another procedure called gamete intrafallopian transfer (GIFT).
The women filled out questionnaires about concerns relating to treatment side effects, surgery, anesthesia, pain recovery, finances, missed work and having a baby. When the subjects underwent their assisted reproductive technology treatments, those women who worried most about the procedure had 20 percent fewer eggs retrieved and 19 percent fewer eggs fertilized than the women who were less inclined to worry about it. The study actually concluded that the women most worried about conceiving were the least likely to conceive and deliver a baby. On the other hand, those women who took the process in stride and simply allowed it to happen were more likely to become pregnant and have a child.
Women who worry less
about conceiving have
more success in
becoming pregnant.
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So, cultivating the philosophy of accepting karmic fortune as in "Zen and the Art of Fertility" can increase your chances of getting pregnant. Adopt a positive, healthy attitude in which you "Do your best and let God (or nature) do the rest." In fact, when it comes to parenthood in general, much may be beyond us, despite all our scientific breakthroughs and miracles. Yes, you can optimize your chances by creating the best environment for conception to occur. Once you've rid yourself of the need for certainty, "This has to work!" you've moved from a state of desperation to a healthier mindset in which you are more empowered, as well as receptive and open to the possibility of new life forming within you.
Actively endeavor to make this mental-emotional transition. For now, it's enough to recognize that you can help create your own good fortune by recognizing and accepting that conception and childbirth are ultimately acts of nature and can be a matter of luck.
Again, many couples who come to our clinic want to use traditional Chinese medicine (TCM) only, but approximately 40 percent of our patients combine TCM with conventional assisted reproductive technology (ART), such as in vitro fertilization (IVF), which has helped many couples. But let's face it, it is an artificial process and it tends to direct women away from their natural reproductive process. In fact, modern medicine in general -- for example, medications for menstrual-related discomforts such as pre-menstrual syndrome (PMS) and various methods of birth control -- has distanced women from their bodies, in particular from an innate awareness of the ebb and flow of the menstrual cycle that is so connected to reproduction.
IVF, in particular, is a highly controlled process that involves manipulation of the reproductive cycle and requires adherence to strict timetables, including when to have sex and so on. For example, if you take blood at eight o’clock in the morning and find you're ovulating, you must be ready by ten o’clock for the fertility doctor to transfer eggs from the ovaries.
I counsel couples in my practice not to be too goal oriented or they will stray further from the natural
reproductive process, and that is counterproductive. I advise them to do their best to follow all their doctors' recommendations and to integrate the fertility process into their lives as naturally as possible. Afterward, they should try to forget about it, especially if they're undergoing IVF at the same time they're being treated with traditional Chinese medical techniques.
We are sometimes asked, "When should I have sex?" The answer always should be, "Whenever you both want," because sex should be spontaneous -- that's how nature meant it to be. This is a "Zen and the Art of Fertility" attitude that helps you recover a sense of your body's innate rhythms and become pregnant. In fact, this relaxed approach can even increase blood flow to the pelvis, because tension and misery actually tighten the body and restrict blood flow. Restricted pelvic blood flow impedes fertility. Within the Chinese philosophy of life, health, happiness, and reproduction -- all of life -- is related to flow, the free flow of energy, of blood, and of all life-giving elements. Nothing can flow freely if you're overly anxious and "uptight."
©2007 , Raymond Chang, M.D. with Elena Oumano, Ph.D.
from What Your Doctor May Not Tell You About Getting Pregnant: Boost Your Fertility with the Best of Traditional and Alternative Therapies, Warner Wellness, an imprint of Warner Books, Inc., 2007