I'm 17 and so scared. Everyone has taken the news that i'm pregnant so well(with the exception of one friend) and i love everyone for that. even my boyfriend whose probably not the father is ready to step up. but i feel like i'm not ready. i've always wanted kids. had names picked out and everything. but, i'm nine weeks pregnant and i've got morning sickness and i keep thinking about the future and i think of how much i'm losing. i try to think of all i'm gaining but its hard. i know abortion is not an option(everyone in my family including me do not condone abortion unless either mother or childs life is in danger) and adoption as out of the question because my family has a bad habit of adopting back into the family. i know i have to step up and take responsibility for my actions and take care of my baby, but how do i calm my fear?

 First of Congrats on the pregnancy! I had my first when I was 13 years old and was scared to death!!! It's the fear of parenthood that scares you the most and how to handle a new person in your life. I have been there and done that with my first son. The best thing to do is go to a parenting class and talk to other people how you feel about becoming a first time mom. I kept my son with no adoption or abortion in mind.... I am thankful everyday for God letting me have him and carrying this second baby. The feeling that your not ready is completely normal for most first time parents especially younger ones. Just tell yourself everything will be okay and it will be. You will have tons of people to help you out which is a wonderful thing. Your boyfriend is being very supportive of you which is great because most guys aren't ready to accept parenthood. I wish you the best of luck and hope I have helped you out a little bit!!

Thank you so much. I feel like i can't tell anyone in my family my fears because i'm not normally nervous about anything. everything i put my mind to, i do. i jus feel like if i can't take care of my baby, then i should find someone who can. even tho i want my baby more than anything. i know that her needs for parents who can take care of her is much more important than my want of her. My cousin had her son back in december and she's two weeks younger than me. but, i don't mean to make it sound circumstantial, but her family is much better off than mine. (we're not a close family) They've got money to get good healthcare and to be able to take care of her and the baby. But my family struggles everyday to keep bills paid and food on the table. i moved out when i was 15 so i wouldn't be a burden on my mother anymore and although she recently got a better job and my boyfriend has a good job, its still going to be a huge struggle. and i don't want Riley brought into a life like this. i love my baby. and i want her to have the best life possible and it hurts so much to know that that is probably not with me. I want her, but i know she needs better.

I'm sorry to hear all the bad things going on in your life. I know how hard it can be because I was in that situation at one point. You can get help for your baby through Department of Human Services and they can get you set up with some insurance if you don't have any. You will be a good mother to your baby and no one else can tell you differently. Even with my husband being in the Marine Corps and me not working at all it's going to be a struggle on us too because he doesn't get paid a whole lot of money so I know how you feel there and I have a 6 year old son too. I have a cousin who doesn't work and takes care of her baby on her own with the help of her boyfriend and she does a great job. She's such a good mother to her baby. Everyone has struggles in life but if you think positive you can make it through it. You want your baby and her mother is the only one to support her and give her care she needs. 

Hi PinkTink!

Reading your story made me feel like i had just stepped back six years. I got pregnant with my daughter when i was sixteen and I wasn't sure if my boyfriend was the father but he was willing to be there for me. My family struggled making the bills and keeping food on the table so not really knowing what was going to happen adoption was on my mind. I didn't want to give her up I just thought it would be better for her. Around four months Ken and I moved in together and two months later we were married. It was hard because he was just trying to get back on his feet and now he had me and a baby on the way. I had a friend that showed me how to sign up for food stamps and health insurance through DES [department of Economic Security]. Also find your local WIC program and get yourself signed up. They have lots of helpful information and they will try and help you through this time in your life. They will give you milk, eggs, carrots, cheese, and other things that are really good for you when your pregnant. When the baby is born they will supply you with formula, cereal, and juice for the baby. Also look and see if you have a local pregnancy advice center when my sister had her baby they were awesome and they still help her now with clothes and other things. I don't know if your still in school but if your not going and getting your GED will help you tremendously later on. If you qualify for financial aid you can not only get a little more money for yourself but you can further your opportunities in a career which will be better for both you and your child. I hope that I have helped you a little I only wish that I would have had someone that could have given me some of this information when I was going through it. Well on top of everything congratulations on your pregnancy. I hope that you can find the answer that is in your heart. Life will change and it will be extremely hard but I promise every day of your child's life you will never regret having your baby. Please keep me posted I'd love to keep in touch.

Beth

Beth,

thank you so much. My mom and i have been working to get me on medicaid, food stamps and WIC. but its hard to make all my appts because i am still in school. we're planning on getting married in june if my health will permit. i jus got out of the hospital two days ago because i became dehydrated. If it happens again, they'll put me as high risk and i'll be switching dr's. . . again. They moved up my first U/S to next thursday(3/13) from the 25th thankfully, and finally did bloodwork. When we first found out i was pregnant, everyone wanted me to have a little girl, but now we're jus praying for him or her to be healthy. I keep having dreams about miscarriages and i don't know what'd i'd do if that happens. Please keep in touch, i feel like i finally found someone who understands, thank you.

Well keep your head up. Dehydration happens when your pregnant. My friend spent almost her entire pregnancy in the hospital because she couldn't bring anything down but now she has two healthy children. The fear of miscarriage is hard to get through. Once you have your ultrasound you'll start to feel better. Well I hope that you stick with school it will be good for you. I'm currently enrolled in college and it feels really good knowing that I'm doing it. Keep me posted on how the little one and you are doing. I had my first ultrasound yesterday and there was a beautiful little baby I'm soo excited. A couple more weeks and will be able to know the sex. Well I'm off to class I will talk to you soon.

Beth

hey..i kinda know exactly how you feel..i am 19..in college.. lving in an apartment with my bf.. i go to college full time and work 25-30hr.. at first i was scared..but once you feel that baby move inside of you your fears will subside..well,..mine did..feeling her move made me realize that all the hardwork i will have to go thru in order to give her a good life will be worth it.. you can do this k.. its like beth said.keep your head up.. there are state programs out there..i started on wic right away and they helped..medicaid has taken awhile..but its worht it.. just try your best..stay in school and just remember you have a beautiful new life starting inside of you.. i hope you keep in touch. best wishes with the baby! ~amber~

 I found out I was pregnant with my daughter when I was 15. I know I was scared as heck, and my family didn' take the news to well either. I was told I had to give her up and it wasnt my choice. But I knew I couldn't do it. Eventually my family came around. My boyfriend(currently my husband now) at the time was amazing. He had a good job and I was still a sophmore in high school. I had her a month after I truned 16 and began my junior year. Please don't give up on school! It is soo important for yours and your babies future. I had so many dreams and I knew in order to accomplish them I would have to work really hard. And I did, I went to homeschool and graduated with my Highschool diploma a few months early and meanwhile I worked full time also. I went to work when she was 5 months old. I have been working and going to school since. I am proud to say that I never gave up on my dreams for my future of being a nurse and just recently finished the Licensed Vocational Nurse program. I found out 2 days ago that I passed my boards and am now officially a nurse! Can you believe that!! I had my daughter young and had all of the same fears you have, but I made sure I didn't compromise any of them!! And you need to do the same also! It is possible! I will be praying for you!!!

Congratulations pudgio!!! What a great feeling that must be, Mrs. Nurse. I graduate from an RN program in June, so I'll be where you are soon and I can't wait!

I agree with everyone here though, you just have to know what you want, look at things long term and stay in school. Your dreams won't come to you, you have to work for them and sometimes very hard. When you do achieve all your goals though it is so worth it! The feeling of accomplishment that you will have will be worth everything you sacrifice to get there, I promise.

Good luck to you, whatever you decide.

 

Thank all of you for your help. I AM STAYING IN SCHOOL!! LOL I'm just finishing my senior year in online home school so i can be home with my baby. My first sonogram is this thursday and i'm really excited. And my boyfriend and i are getting married in june! I will keep in touch if all of you promise to as well. I've got so many different families that i feel like i'm making a bunch of online ones too.

Hey if anyone still checks up on this.

I lost the baby. its still really hard so i'm not staying on long but i jus wanted to thank all of you for your advice and support. my fiance and i are post poning the wedding to 4th of july weekend of 09 and after that we're going to try again. i'm having alot of mixed emotions including blaming myself and others who caused me stress, but my comfort is that my baby is in heaven with my brother and my niece. thank all of you.

mallorie

I'm so sorry for your loss, just know that it's not your fault these things happen to anyone. Thoughts and prayers. 

First of all, I am so sorry for your loss.  I've been there and it's far from easy.  Anger, fear, frustration, sadness, etc (all those mixed emotions) are part of the greiving and healing process.  I'll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Second, I would like to say how proud I am of all of you who posted responses here.  Your stories are very touching.  I'm certain that these were very difficult times for all of you and you've all shown that you've made it through it.  You've provided courage to so many through your stories.  I have not had an experience any where similar to yours though I am greatful to know that there are people out there like you who would have been there to encourage me if I had. 

May your strength and courage continue to bring you many great things in life.  Thank you!

 I am so sorry for your loss! I have been through that also and it was very hard on me! I too blamed myself, but eventually came to realize that God had other purposes for my baby, greater then I could ever understand. You did nothing wrong! I hope you realize that! Stay strong, and focused! Best of luck!