Hello everyone, my name is Jaime I am 30 years old and prego with my third child (not planned) I have a 11 yo girl and a 2 yo boy... in my thinking I was good with 2..lol, however someone had different plans for myself and my body it seems .. so here i am!
This pregnancy has been like a horror movie since the day I found out.. I had a AWESOME job making good money, then all the sudden I got very ill in my first trimester.. needing to be in the hospital for at least 2 out of the first 3 months. I would go in, they would keep me for 4-5 days, let me out.. only to have me completely dehydrate and have to go back in. Needless to say I lost my job.
After the sickness started to settle.. my dear aunt whom I was very close to passed away very suddenly, then 4 weeks later.. my grandmother whom i lived with my whole life passed as well. OK so now we have 3 months of total sickness, followed by two close deaths in the family... oh and the lost job....well on top of all of that I AM JUST SCARED!!!!!!!!! I have not felt ANY connection to this pregnancy once so ever, maybe once in a while when I feel her move I get the ahhh feeling but ......not so much. My husband and I have NOT been getting along at all!!! I just feel no connection to anyone... I feel completely alone and scared, and I dont know where it is all coming from. I know emotions run high during pregnancy but this is OUT OF CONTROL... I dont know if I am pushing everyone away and just assumming they don't care or if in fact they don't !!!!
I feel the worse for my two other children my daughter especially .. she gets the brunt of the anger and frustration, and although she is a *** and drives me slightly insane with the head and neck rolls..lol for the most part she really does try to help out, but I get so frustrated with her so quickly!!
There is just so much to this whole situation but the main problem is I AM PREGNANT AND FEEL CRAZY... I Cry nonstop, I feel like the whole world is against me, and I have NO ONE.. Not to mention I have this overwhelming fear of dying from this childbirth. WHAT IS GOING ON.????... I just want to feel and look normal again. If this continues I am certain something horrible is going to happen.
any ideas please let me know.
thank you and sorry for the long post.