Well here I am finally at 19 weeks and still holding my breath. I lost so many babies, and at out of every other doctors mouth they summed it up to luck, things just happen, or "it's God's way", accompanied by a pat on the knee. I lost another baby (my husbands first) in August 2007 with the usual reply and blank stare, only this time my husband was there to comfort me and I didn't have to endure it alone ( I must admit nothing completely takes away the pain). I endured another d&c and tearful recovery then I tried again. This time I chose to go back to the OB/GYN that delivered my first 2 daughters just to be disappointed by his lax attitude toward my 6 miscarriages and previous Leep procedure. I asked him questions about a cerclage and told him my concerns after I had done some research about causes of an incompetent cervix and that I may be high risk, his reply was, "nothing to worry about, you'll be fine." He brushed it off and scooted me out of his office after scheduling me for another 4 week visit. I wasn't willing to lose another baby if I could help it and I certainly wasn't willing to watch my husband cry again (it broke my heart). I remembered taking down a name and number of a doctor that a nurse gave to me when I asked if there was a doctor in existence that cared and really listened to their patients. I called her, met her, and left the other doctor that I liked so much, because liking him was not enough. On my second visit to the office she sat down and took time with me, after hearing about my history she stated right away that I would most likely need a cerclage to save the baby and sent me to her High Risk OB at 13.5 weeks. A few weeks later I found out I had already dilated 2 cm and by the time I had the surgery at 16 weeks I was 3 cm. After the surgery the doctor told me that the cervix is supposed to look like a little funnel but mine looked like a doughnut and there was hardly any left. Recovery wasn't so bad, I'm just not used to bed rest (ugh). Here I am at 19 weeks, on my way to the doctor tomorrow to get the all clear to go back to work. I must admit I'm hoping he can also tell me the sex of the baby. I feel hopeful and blessed.
Out of my comfort zone is where I grow.