My fascination with the Olympics, the athletes, willpower, drive and determination to win has been taken to a deeper level with the introduction of the Olympic Mom.

20+ Olympic athletes have children and juggle practice, family, games and motherhood. They handle sleep deprivation, sickness, and manage their time while focusing on their life long dreams, their children and life as a mom.

Balance and juggling were cited on the Today Show as a key to having a family and a dream. These women have rigorous practice schedules, games and competitions, travel, and the responsibilities of motherhood.

They are a great role model for a mom like me. I have dreams, goals and a determination to be an individual and a mom. They have shown me, as many others do, that dreams can and should be achieved without the sacrifice of a family.

One swimmer, now 41, was back in the pool just 4 months after giving birth. Now 2 years later she is a mom and an Olympic medalist, with a story to tell her daughter about their trip.

A softball player had her baby and competed just 5 weeks later; that is drive and determination to have both a dream and a child.

Two soccer moms, Olympic athletes who are also moms, said that they play differently now. They are more composed, smarter and have calmed down since having a child.

A basketball mom says that it is all about balance. She gives 100% to her daughter when she is with her and she gives 100% to basketball when she is playing; the time is split differently each day but 100% is always given.

As I look at these moms, what they are able to accomplish and their commitment I think, what do I want to do? I am inspired to journal about my goals, dreams and aspirations and see if there is something that I am not doing that I could be.

I am inspired and in awe of these women. As a beach volleyball player myself, I watched the finals last night and heard the heart felt message that they have done what they set out to do, are not finished with their sport but want the experience of motherhood.

The emotion as Kerri Walsh said "it is time, I really want a baby!" made me smile and hope for her to she gets to experience motherhood. She has accomplished so much personally and now a baby, motherhood and volleyball are what she dreams about.

The support that these women have to compete is fundamental and the support that they require to be an Olympic Mom is even greater. Balance, love, determination and drive are all traits of an Olympic athlete and every mom that I know.

Motherhood is a blessing that has allowed me to stretch who I am, find balance in situations that seem insurmountable, and shown me that asking for support and allowing it to come to me is the only way to maintain my individuality, my quest to be a good mom and my determination to be a positive role model in the lives on my children.

Sports taught me a lot growing up and the dream of Olympic Gold was mine and Joe’s when we were kids. I think that it gave me a different level of respect for others accomplishments and an inner drive to be the best that I can be through the metaphor of a game.

I now translate those messages to my life; be the best that I can be and give 100% to what I am doing, I release the guilt from spending time for and with myself and know that giving 100% when I am with my children is more important than giving 100% of my time but not being present.

I may never be at the level of Olympic athlete but I can be my best and give 100% to myself, my family and my kids.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

I have heard the word poop more times in the past 4 years than I had ever heard it in all 38 years of my life. Grown women talk about their kids poop like it is a normal part of a daily conversation. News flash, unless you are a mother of a young child, poop does not come up all that often in conversation. For moms, however, it seems normal and fine to discuss our children’s bowel movements with complete strangers. Why? 

I know that as a new parent I was obsessed with poop and making sure that my children were pooping often enough. Constipation was an issue on our house and poop became a hot topic of our dinner time discussion, some things never change.

As my kids got older there was talk of blow out diapers and then on to the not so pleasant potty training experiences. I am close to starting again, it is almost time with Boo and I hope that it goes more smoothly than with AJ.

I still get a yell from the bathroom which is the cue for mom and dad to Ro-Sham-Bo for wiping duties. The worst is when we do not get the call and AJ, being a big boy, wipes himself. It is nice that he tries but if his underwear could talk they would be screaming HELP when he does not.

In addition to our household poop issues, AJ is fascinated with the word poop and thinks that saying it is hilarious. God forbid we see any poop - bird poop, dog poop, any poop is like hitting the mother lode and AJ is off on a poop talking frenzy.

I chose to take AJ to a working farm in town that does tours and talks to kids about the old days growing up on a farm. I thought that AJ would love the animals and the real farm atmosphere. Like I have said before, some choices are better than others.

AJ was more interested in where the animals went to the bathroom, why they didn’t get any privacy and the amount of poop that each animal had in their stall. I think that the word poop came out of his mouth at least 7,000 times in those 2 hours. The animals were fine but the poop was fascinating.

We are planning a trip to the Zoo soon and I can only assume that there will be more interesting and oh so exciting conversations about poop in my near future.

Right now I am waiting for the fish tank, lakes and the oceans to cross his mind. Until then, I am attempting to put a stop to the use of the word poop in our house, honestly I am all pooped out.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

My 20 year high school reunion was last weekend. I had mixed emotions about going but had been looking forward to seeing my friends from Vegas and catching up with people. I had lost touch with so many people over the years and was not even sure who would show up.

After having kids I became a bit more introverted and did not take the time to make lasting friendships. Being at home with the kids seems to limit the amount of time that I have to meet new people and make new friends.

Kris and Spencer, from Vegas, have been dear friends since around 1993. I went through a lot and they were always there for me. I have not found friends like them and, honestly, I hope never to need a friend as much as I needed Kris.

Life has been very busy and I consider Joe my best friend, everyone else that I have met is wonderful but there just isn’t the time to get that close. Talking 2-3 times a year and seeing each other once a year seems to be enough for Kris and I to still be close.

I reconnected with a few very special people and am grateful for the time that we spent talking. I will keep in touch with them and continue to grow our friendships.

This reunion came at a time in my life where I am happy, feel good about myself, my relationship and my kids. People seemed more grown up than they did at the 10 year reunion and it was refreshing to hear about their lives, families and changes. It felt good to see so many happy and successful people and hear that most of their happiness was due to their families.

At the 10 year reunion it seemed like status was important but at the 20 year it was more about life. Talk about jobs and career was secondary to conversations about family, kids and how we spend our time.

Many of the women were at home moms like me and it was nice to hear so many of us talk about family, kids, school and things that were totally Mom related. Amazingly, the age range of kids went from 22 years old down to a few months; some people had a kid in high school and some of us waited until our thirties.

It was fun to talk, share stories, and find that time and distance does not change real friendships. People that I did not expect to be excited to see me were and it made me feel good and happy to reunite with them.

I was happy to introduce Joe to my friends from the past and he was a trooper. He’s such a good man and it was wonderful to hear comments about what a nice guy he is; all that I could do was smile and say "I know!"

The best part of the reunion was a small comment made in passing. Joe looked over at Spencer and said, "Doesn’t it feel good to be with the best looking women here?" Spencer looked at Kris, got a big smile and said, "Man you’re right, we’re pretty lucky!"

Joe still finds me beautiful 8 years later and that fact made more of am impact on me than any comment that anyone else could have made. There was something about hearing my husband tell a buddy that he thinks that I am beautiful, it made my heart melt and I fell in love with him all over again. We will be married 7 years on the 18th and I fall in love with him more every day.

I see him with our kids and I fall head over heals with him because of his sincerity, openness, and love for all of us. He is the love of my life, has brought me joy, a family, and now a reason to dress up a little more often.

Seeing everyone, renewing friendships, cherishing existing friends, and rekindling my love for Joe was more than I could have hoped for from a 20 year reunion.

What a surprise to find that it would make me appreciate, love and respect Joe more than I did before. Who knew?

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

No sick days for Mommy…

Over the past week I have been under the weather and am proposing that we create a national program that provides sick days for mom or "at home" parents.

Being a mom is a full time job, we do not get benefits, overtime pay or sick leave. I think that this is ridiculous and needs to be changed. I am writing to the health insurance companies and requesting that they include spousal sick days for a parent that stays home with their kids.

I guarantee that Joe and I would chip in some extra money if it meant that I could have a sick day from time to time. I rarely get sick, maybe once a year, but when I get sick I tend to get really sick; caring for the kids sometimes includes lying on the couch, begging them to talk quietly and watch a movie while mommy rests. It usually doesn’t work but I am not above trying.

Last week, right before the reunion I started to feel my voice cracking and my throat was scratchy. I thought that it was just allergies and with some Echinacea would disappear. After a weekend of talking, staying up late and a few glasses of wine, my voice was completely gone. By Monday I made an appointment and got in to see my doctor.

I begged for some way to speak again and she reluctantly prescribed an antibiotic. Her kids are older and she has apparently forgotten the need for a voice with 2 small children.

AJ had been yelling at me because he couldn’t hear me and thought that meant that I could not hear him, hence a big loud voice to help out mom. I explained that I had to whisper because my voice was tired and needed a rest so he began whispering and resting his voice to the point that I could barely hear him. I needed help and the antibiotic was my only hope.

I have not had a sick day since my kids were born. My mom did come over once when Boo was little because I was vomiting so much that I was afraid that I would not be able to care for him and AJ at the same time. She brought me soup and stayed for a while until I could go a few hours in between trips to the bathroom. Joe’s job demands his attention and he can rarely get a day off without notice so he is rarely able to offer the assistance of a sick day for me.

I believe that our Health Savings Account (HAS) should be available for spousal sick days. I believe that any "at home" parent should be covered by the HAS plan and allowed 10 sick days per years. The HSA spousal sick days could be used when a fever, loss of voice, vomiting, diarrhea, migraine headache, injury or bad back seem to be acting up and reduce ones ability to care for and parent small children.

Mental health days would be required once per quarter and failure to take a mental health day would terminate coverage. Massage therapists would be listed under metal health care providers and be covered under the plan.

A sick day would include a nanny from 7:30 am until 6:30 pm. The nanny would watch over the children and make sure that the sick parent have ample time to rest, go to the doctor and get well. The maximum coverage would be 3 consecutive days, if the parent is still not well then the other parent would be required to take time off and stay at home with the children.

I guarantee that "at home" parents everywhere would be grateful and not abuse the HSA spousal sick day program. The much needed rest would make us more able to care for and parent our children knowing that the occasional illness would be covered. The mental health days would help by reducing stress, providing emotional support and assisting in overall health and well-being.

As a sick mom trying to get her voice back, taking antibiotics and regular doses of cough syrup, I am ready and waiting for the much needed Mommy sick day.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

As I sit and watch the Olympics I am in awe of the wonderful men and women and their families. The choice to be an athlete, more importantly an Olympic Athlete seems to be a time consuming and all encompassing decision for both the athlete and their family.

The level of commitment, support and drive is unparalleled as they wait for years to be able to compete. Their life takes on the appearance of a full time job. The desire to win and love of the sport help them persevere and push through the tough times.

As a mom I see the emotions of the families and the life that they created so that their children had the opportunity to fulfill their dreams. The financial commitment, constant practice sessions, and emotional support required seem daunting yet immensely rewarding.

AJ does not really get the concept of Olympic Athlete but he likes to watch the people play and the excitement. For him a Fireman, Builder, Baseball Player, Trash Truck Driver, Sports Car Driver, and Soccer Guy top the list of cool fun jobs to have in the future.

He likes to play sports and has often said that he will be a Major League Baseball Guy or Golfer like Tiger Woods when he gets older. I tell him that anything is possible if he continues to learn and practice.

We often sit and play and I ask questions about what he likes or talk about the jobs that the he would like to have. He likes to build with Legos, blocks, and Tinker Toys so we talk about construction work, architecture, and drawing. Right now everything sounds fun to him and he is not going to limit himself to one job when he gets big, he wants to do all of them.

The funny part of talking about getting older, jobs, and the fun stuff that people do is that he often asks me what I want to be when I grow up. At first I laugh and say that I want to be a Mommy and spend time with him. That is the truth but does that mean that I was all grown up now?

I began to think about it, what do I want to be when I grow up and when do I consider myself being grown up? I think that I have been in perpetual growth mode and have never really considered an end to growing.

The question, "What do you want to be when you grow up?" can have many answers like in the case of AJ. He can have many phases of grown and be a baseball player, a soccer player, a construction builder and more; why not if growing up takes a lifetime?

I feel like I have gone after what I wanted to be at the moment that I decided. My parents seemed to encourage independence and strong will from the time that I was little. They told me that I could do anything if I wanted to badly enough and tried. I remember going to college and wanting to work in marketing and then 4 years out of college I started a marketing business. Then I decided that I wanted to own a doggie day care, so Joe and I helped to renovate the building and opened the business. As that was growing, Joe and I decided that we were ready for a family and my dream of being a mom came true. Being a mom led to writing and starting a non profit foundation. Writing became a passion and an outlet for me to share with others and the non profit became a way to give back.

Now, AJ is starting preschool and I am once again looking at the elusive question, "What do I want to be when I grow up?" I am happy with where I am, what I have accomplished, and what I am doing, but the question still repeats in the back of my mind.

I love being a mom, I love writing, and I find myself wondering, what else will I love to do in my life; maybe art, maybe another business, maybe more consulting, maybe…who knows?

I hope to be a model for my kids showing them that anything is possible, especially with a job or career. Nothing is too great or too small if you really want it, all that you have to do is believe, try and trust in yourself.

What do you want to be when you grow up can come in the form of a job or a career but

I’ve decided that it is far more than that; what I want to be when I grow up and along the way is happy, laughing and having fun!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

I am a mom and I have run a doggie day care business; how hard could it be to raise 2 puppies with my 2 toddlers?

If I could have stepped outside of myself and seen the situation from a different perspective, I would have taken a step back, laughed at the idea and firmly slapped some sense into myself.

Unfortunately I had the brilliant idea that 2 puppies would grow up together, have a friend to play with, and take some of the pressure for constant exercise off of me.

WRONG!

Let me explain how the situation began. In June 2007 my beloved Chow Tasha passed away at 16 1/2. She was wonderful, well trained and sorely missed by Sidney, the kids, and most of all me.

AJ cried and wanted her back. For months he would ask when she would be getting better and come back to us. It broke my heart to hear him, I kept pushing for a new puppy and finally in February Joe gave in and said that we could get another dog.

I started to look for a Miniature Australian Shepard but did not find one in a shelter near my home. I knew Lorraine at the Misha May Foundation and called her to inquire about a new dog. She invited us to come at look at the litter of puppies that would be available soon. We took the kids and went to find our new dog. When we got there we were met at the door by a 5 month old Border Collie/Lab mix named Duke. AJ never got past him and fell in love, he wanted Duke.

Joe and I talked about it and a 5 month old potty trained dog seemed like a good idea, so we applied to rescue him and got him a week later. He was wonderful, crate trained, potty trained and respectful of the kids. Wow, what a great find but in my heart I still wanted a Mini Aussie.

AJ had his dog but I did not have mine. With the excuse that Duke needed a friend, I selfishly continued to look for a Mini Aussie. Joe just threw up his hands and said "if you can find one for $250 that is a blue merle with blue eyes, exactly what you are looking for, you can buy it, if not we are not buying another dog."

No problem, I could live within that framework and accept the terms of his agreement. Joe was not too worried about it since the Mini Aussies that we had found were all between $500 and $1500, his $250 limit made my quest a challenge.

It took a little time, but I found him in April. Joe just laughed and we got our second puppy. He’s convinced that I always get what I want if I want it bad enough and I agree with him. Sometimes it takes a little time and effort, but usually I get exactly what I set my mind out to get.

As I look back on that moment, I wonder what I was thinking to want a second puppy so badly; he is adorable but quite a handful. Both dogs are herding dogs and, not having a herding dog before, I only had a base understanding of them, their requirements and energy level. I am not sure that a base understanding of anything permanent is ever enough.

Both dogs love it outside and spend most of their time in the yard. Sounds great except for the fact that they love to chew on trees, dig in the grass and chew up stray toys that get left in the yard. In their minds, if it is in the yard it is theirs, no exception.

I have taken them to training and spoken with various trainers about the isues. They are good dogs, they are totally potty trained they know how to sit and stay but when left alone they are doggie destructive. The answer is never leave them unsupervised and control the situation.

Ha! I have a 19 month old to chase around and make sure that he doesn’t eat small objects and a 4 year old who wants my undivided attention. Now I have 2 puppies who need constant supervision whenever they go outside?

How am I possibly going to accomplish that?

Basically, I am not; I am going to choose my battles and care for my 4 toddlers, 2 furry and 2 human. All that I can do is laugh at me, apologize to Joe, and try to create a toy free environment in the yard.

AJ and Boo have learned basic training commands and play fetch with the dogs in the yard. Joe pitches to AJ, he hits the ball and the dogs retrieve it. It is a lot of fun as long as we are all together. I have been able to stop the tree chewing but the digging still eludes me. They are so fast and they dig in inconspicuous places, it is hard to catch them and so far impossible to stop them.

I guess that digging is a small price to pay for otherwise great dogs. AJ and Boo love Duke and Blue and vice versa, I would not trade that for anything. Blue has satisfied my need for a smaller dog and I will not be thinking about another puppy anytime soon. When I do I will remind myself that I am crazy and take a look at the holes in the yard.

Having kids and puppies is far more time consuming and encompassing than I thought that it would be. I now have four little mouths to feed, hair to brush and manner to teach; it keeps me busy and more than satisfies my random thoughts of having another baby, for now.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

AJ is entering public preschool this year and we have been working all summer on preparing him for reading. We read a lot of books and try to enunciate as much as possible. We use phonics cards, letter coloring books and a sound chart to help show him the letters and how they sound as we start to form words.

As we work with the letters and sounds I am inundated with the question why.

Mommy, "Why does Giraffe start with a G and not a J?"

"Hmm, good question. The answer is that some letters have hard and soft sounds, a G can be hard like in Gift and soft like in Giraffe," I answer.

AJ asks, "Then why does Jam start with a J and not a G?"

"Well, letter J is just soft, like in jam, jellyfish, Jill, and Josef," I explain.

"Then why not just start Giraffe with a J?" he asks.

AJ is very logical, he reasons things out, puts things into order and tries to make sense of the sometimes senseless. Sometimes his logic goes beyond my capacity for reasoning. I have a choice to answer him with a lengthy description or make it brief and understandable to the 4 year old intellect.

The real reason is that the English language is complex and Phonics is only the beginning of what he will learn about spelling, speaking and conjugation; explaining that to him can open a whole other can of worms.

My answer to him is that words can seem complicated, when letters are next to each other they sometimes sound different. There are a whole bunch of rules that he will learn in school to help him understand but for now we need to focus on what the letter looks like so that he can recognize it when he sees it. He seems satisfied with the answer and goes back to working in his coloring book.

He likes to work with his flash card and knows all of the letters and their sounds. When he looks at a picture and tries to guess the first letter, it can be hit or miss, like in the case of Giraffe. He gets a little frustrated with the letter X and Xylophone and asks why not start it with a Z, it sounds like Zebra, why can’t they spell it that way.

He gets irritated that Kitten and Cat are the same animal, sound the same and yet start with different letters. Why?

Since I am not an English major, far from it, I have no answers for him. He is right, it is confusing and Phonic is just the tip of the iceberg. I don’t remember enough to explain the specifics and answer him in a way that makes sense. I fear that I will be unable to satisfy his curiosity without confusing him.

He seems baffled and a little worried that he may not get the hang of this "spelling and sounding" thing because it is quite confusing and not logical to him. My job right now is to make him feel like a superstar, like he is so smart when he gets it right, and build his confidence. It is the school's job to teach him the rest. I will be there for support and to work with him as much as I can, but I am happy to allow them to teach him about letter combinations and sounds. Honestly, I may need a refresher myself in order to be much help; Wikipedia here I come.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

As my 20 year high school reunion rapidly approaches, I find myself reflecting on my life since high school. I am happily married, have 2 great kids and yet get that gut wrenching feeling from high school of trying to fit in at the mere thought of seeing people again.

I did go to my 10 year reunion and was in a less than ideal situation. I had been in a 4 and a half year relationship with a guy (Jerk) that had also gone to my high school. Most people knew that we had been living together and that we had broken up. He had cheated on me in Tahoe with a floozie he met in a casino, I felt like everyone knew, my self confidence was shot and I dreaded the night. I went with a great and supportive friend and had a blast; it worked out and I survived.

Now, 10 years later, I am in a totally different place and yet I find myself reflecting over not only the past 10 years but all 20.

          What have I done with my life?
          Am I where I wanted to be?

My conclusion was simple, NO I am not where I wanted to be and thank goodness! If I were where I wanted to be 20 years ago I would have been married and probably divorced from a different man than Joe. I would not have my wonderful kids, my dogs, and my house or more importantly I would not be who I am right now.

From time to time I think about the life changing decisions that altered my path. It is interesting how there were pivotal decisions that either moved me forward in a direction or dramatically changed my course.

For instance, I chose to go to college at a small school where my boyfriend, high school sweetheart, went to school. He was a year older and we were “promised”. It sounds funny now but at the time it was so important.

Six months into college we broke up and there I was, in a school that was probably not a great fit for me. I had one saving grace, I played volleyball and was making some friends. I had a choice, change schools or stick it out. I chose to stay and am glad that I did.

Another pivotal moment was 1 year out of college. I went to visit a friend in San Francisco and he wanted me to move out there. His mom owned a restaurant and I could work there until I got a job in marketing. I had just gotten a job as an account coordinator for a direct marketing company. My choice was to either follow my deeply infatuated heart and move, becoming a waitress and hoping for a chance in marketing or stay here and pursue a career while continuing to look for romance. I chose to stay and have had many happy years working in marketing and grown from the experiences.

The rest is history, 10 years ago the infamous break up, 8 years ago I met my true match, my best friend and the love of my life, 7 years ago we got married, 4 years ago we had AJ and 19 months ago we had Boo.

As I reflect, I sit here wondering what I will tell people when they ask, “so what do you do now?” That seems like such a loaded question and yet it is so simple. I can answer in a self serving way that makes me feel important and look important to them or I can be real and tell them what is truly important to me and my family.

I can say I am the executive director of the non-profit foundation Mother Matters, a published author and marketing consultant. I could say that, but does that really say what I am doing now? No!

I am at home with my kids, providing a stable home for them to grow up in and become the people that they chose to become. I also enjoy working with moms, writing and consulting as it comes up. I could say that, but does it sound impressive? No! But that is what I do and what is important to me.

It was a pivotal choice for me to be home with my kids. I had been working from a home based office since 1996 and was convinced that it would be easy to do with a child. It was, for about the first year, and then it got complicated. Multiply that times 2 with the second child and working from home looks a lot different. Work in the early mornings, late nights and during nap time is the only way to find 8-10 hours in the day; it takes away from time with Joe, time to sleep and some days is in small 30 minute increments.

It changed the type of work that I went after, the type of companies that I chose to work with and the number of hours a day that I am willing to work.

The choice to be at home with my kids was a life changing decision that I wouldn’t change for the world. Some days it is trying and others are fabulous but both are important to me and my family. I never thought that I would give up a nice salary and the feeling of importance that comes from a title but mom is the only title that seems to matter now, the rest is just icing on the cake.

The reunion is this weekend, I am happy and excited to introduce Joe to my old friends and tell them about my kids. I am first and foremost a mom and wife; the rest is somehow less significant to me 20 years after high school.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

AJ has been a golfer since he could walk. He loves the clubs, balls and golf course. When he was 1, we gave him a plastic set of clubs that came with a golf bag, 3 clubs, 3 balls, and 2 plastic cups with flags. He played with it so much that we had to replace it and buy golf accessories; finding a golf glove for a one year old is challenging. For his second birthday he asked for a real set of clubs. He told everyone that he was getting big boy clubs for his birthday; we finally gave in and bought him a set, our pediatrician was horrified.

The long entry way in our house is a perfect indoor golf course. We put a cup at the end and let him hit to ball into it. We had a rug about 20 feet from the cup and he used it as his driving range. As time went on, we realized that golf in the house had inherent problems especially since he could chip the ball all the way down the hall and still hit to top of the door frame. He was getting good and the hallway went from being the driving range to the putting green.

For Christmas this year he got his own kids motorized golf cart. I had no idea that they made such a thing, but Grandma found one and knew that he would love it. He drives around the neighborhood with his clubs strapped to the back. He is the only kid that I have seen that is happy to drive a golf cart instead of a Jeep or race car.

This summer, AJ took his first formal golf lessons. He loves playing golf but he doesn’t like to listen to someone telling him how to play. He has been going to the course since he could walk and thinks that he already knows everything about golf and most of the time he isn’t half bad.

For the past 2-1/2 years, he and Grandpa go to the driving range and then play the first hole about once a week. He used to hit the ball into the sand trap on purpose because it was fun to hit out of the sand. Now he knows that the objective is to avoid the sand and he does that pretty well, too.

People ask him if he is the next Tiger Woods and his answer is, "I am Tiger Woods, I golf and have fun." Who can argue with that logic?

I am frequently asked if I will put him in private lessons and guide him to pursue golf. I laugh and tell them that he is only 4 and in a year he may like something else a lot more than golf. For now, I encourage him to do the things that make him happy and golf seems to fit the bill.

Boo caught the golf bug, too. He got a gift card and we took him to the store to pick out what he wanted. He saw the plastic golf set and carried it through the store. We showed him alternatives but he just walked off pulling his golf clubs.

(copyright 2008)

I am looking forward to the day when we can play golf with the boys. Until then, I will continue to take them to the driving range and give them any opportunity that I can to help them decide what they love to do with their time.

AJ is probably not going to be the next Tiger Woods and I am fine with that. He is well rounded; likes building with Legos and Tinker Toys, and may be the next great architect. He also likes to play baseball, soccer, color and play with Playdoh all of which could mean something if I chose to read way too much into it.

I am raising 2 golf fanatics who love to play the game. I will support them as long as it lasts and then move along with them to their next passing fancy. It is my job as their mom to keep perspective and know that today’s passion may be tomorrow’s forgotten memory.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

As I walked into the gym, I had a looming feeling of regret, fear and apprehension about my choice to try yoga again. The instructor had been so kind and encouraging and I felt like I owed it to myself to try again. However as I approached the room with the quiet music and dim lighting I began to wonder if I had made the right decision.

My mind began to meddle before I even entered the room, picked my spot and grabbed all of my necessary gear. I needed a mat, blankets and foam blocks to ensure that I was not disrupting the class in the middle of a pose. I learned my lesson last time, my body does not like flexibility and some poses are not possible without some serious help.

The instructor saw me and gave me a little smile. I am sure that my face did not look serene or even happy as I tried to "quiet" my meddling mind and settle in for the upcoming yoga adventure.

I made a decision on my way over that if this went as badly as it had before, I would happily be a yoga drop out. However, in my heart I could feel a little hope. I really wanted to be like those women in the photos; gently posed in an awkward position with a look of contentment, how I desperately wanted that feeling of contentment.

Class began and I would like to say that I had a blissful experience, found my personal contentment and will forever be a yoga fanatic, but I can’t. I had a good experience but it was far from blissful. I forced my body into positions that are only fit for the animal that they were named after and found myself in a severe sweat even though this was not "hot" yoga.

The instructor helped me with the blocks and blankets and I focused as hard as I could on feeling bliss. Honestly, bliss is not a feeling that comes easily through the pain of stretching, holding and trying to breathing in precarious positions.

My mind seemed to be reluctant to "quiet" but did allow me to focus on the activity at hand. I made sure to breathe when she told us, move when asked and rest when I could.

At the end, I was not as frustrated as I had been before. My mind felt a subtle sense of accomplishment. My spirit felt lighthearted and somehow elevated and my body was aching. My goal for yoga was to balance mind, body and spirit and I felt that two out of three was a decent start.

As I lie on my mat at the end of the class listening to the sounds of the ocean I felt a rush of emotion. I had made it through, overcome my fear, objections and pain, and wanted to come back.

I am not sure if I was just glad that I wasn’t a yoga drop out or if I was happy that I did not berate myself this time, either way I felt good.

Thank you yoga instructor, you were right and I am glad that I listened. I am not sure that I will ever be photo worthy but I hope to be yoga happy. Contentment now means something different than it did when I walked into the studio. Then it meant total mind quieting and now it means successfully completing the class. My standards have changed for the better, are more realistic and fit into the realm of possibility for me and my body.

I will go back, I will keep trying and I will eventually stop using those annoying foam blocks and blankets. I will know what she means when she asks for a pose and I will be able to support another woman as she experiences what I felt during my first class.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Have you ever gone against your better judgment and taken the kids somewhere only to regret the decision?

I did and boy, I could have kicked myself for the choice! Some places are kid friendly yet not kid fun; the smart mom knows the difference and takes her kids to the kid fun places.

Oh no, I was not a smart mom and took my kids to the Parade of Homes. For some reason my mom thought that it would be a lot of fun to haul 2 kids through 8 show homes with a gazillion stairs and as many people.

I wasn’t sure that it was a good idea but she reminded me that AJ liked to go to other people’s houses and thinks that it is fun to see all of their stuff. I was weak minded and agreed, much to my dismay.

We got there and it was 90 degrees outside, they don’t allow any strollers, food or drink in the homes and the kids had breakfast 2 hours before we arrived. Disaster was written all over this plan. I had the stroller in case we needed it and parked it outside of each home. I had planned ahead and brought juice boxes and snacks.

After the first house, AJ was hot and thirsty. He drank his juice box and Boo drank half of the other. One house and we were almost out of juice. After that, we made about it one hour, 3 more houses, and the boys began to complain.

Boo started to get fussy even though we had carried him up all of the stairs. AJ wanted to sit down but all of the furniture was show furniture and he wasn’t allowed to sit anywhere. As we climbed the last set of stairs in house #4 he told me that his legs hurt, his feet were hot, and he was tired.

I thought, of course they do, we have 4 more houses to tour before lunch. I took them outside, set them in the shade under at tree and gave them some fruit snacks and the last half juice box to try to buy some time.

My dad put Boo into his stroller as we walked to the second half of homes. When we got there, we took Boo out of his stroller and he lost his mind, he was done. He was tired, hot and comfortable in his stroller yet we had the audacity to take him out again.

I carried him through house #5 as I made a deal with the boys. This was the last house that we would go through and then we would go cool off, sit down and get something to drink.

They agreed, we practically ran through the house, said goodbye to Grandma and Grandpa and went to the snack tent. They had not been so happy all day, a cherry slushy was a gift from heaven and they began to act like my kids again.

I was happy too, I had gotten hot, was tired of carrying Boo and frustrated with myself for my poor judgment. The break was much needed and a good end to an otherwise stressful day.

My parents finished house browsing alone and then we all went to get some lunch. I chose a kid fun place to eat and all was well with the world.

Next time I am going to listen to my better judgment and go alone to an event like the Parade of Homes. No matter how good of an idea it sounds to take them with me, I have learned my lesson and they will stay at the neighbors.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

This summer has been wonderful, my kids have been home, my mom and dad have spent time with us, and I have started playing more volleyball. I have been so busy however, that I have let my attention to me go by the wayside and am in desperate need of a hot bath, good book and glass of red wine to balance out my routine.

I can’t believe that summer is almost over and AJ will be in preschool this fall. He will be attending half days and it seems like he is growing up so fast. This summer I decided that I was going to do the things that most families do over the summer; spend time with my kids, have fun and enjoy our time together.

I have become the master planner, scheduling a myriad of golf lessons, swimming lesson, and one day outings to train museum, the zoo, the dinosaur museum, and many visits to the park.

Everyday ends with the kids and me completely worn out. I don’t know how some moms do this all of the time, it is exhausting.

I make time to do my work in the wee hours of the morning, while the boys are napping or at night before bed. I have made time for myself in the form of physical activity. I have gotten back into volleyball and love the exercise, camaraderie and break from being a caretaker for a few hours a week.

I took inventory of the things that I wanted to do this summer and at first glance I felt like I was way behind, we hadn’t made it to the lake yet or visited the library for the puppet show.

Then I stepped back and took a look at all that we had accomplished. We spent quality time together, bonded with my parents, and did the things that were important to us. Our schedule looked ominous at times but we fit it all in.

It has been amazing but to be honest, I am looking forward to a little relaxation, spontaneity, and time at home. I look forward to those calm nights of relaxing in the bath, reading and drinking a nice glass of red wine.

It feels like it has been a lifetime since I took the time to read and I really miss it. I wouldn’t change the summer or the things still to do, but I am looking forward to a calm night in the tub.

In the future I am going to plan less and allow more time for nurturing me. I think that it will help me be more relaxed and able to fit in the spur of the moment activities that come up.

For now I am happy and thoroughly exhausted. I am headed for the bath while Joe prepares the kids for bed and I can’t wait to find out how my sappy romantic novel ends!

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

Yoga is said to balance the body, mind and spirit while offering wonderful stretching and muscular benefits. As a proponent of balance I decided to give it a try.

My gym has a number of different classes for the varying levels of experience and workout desired. I opted for the beginner level to learn the stances and get into the spiritual or meditative aspect of yoga.

Much to my dismay, my body struggled to get into the poses and my mind began to reel. The harder the position, the more my mind meddled. I found myself getting more and more frustrated as I was unable to get into the positions, let alone hold them.

I kept thinking how relaxing yoga looked. I wanted so desperately to get into the Zen of yoga, let myself go, quiet my mind, and experience balance. I began to focus more on my mind which of course made matters worse.

Since I was a newbie the instructor was generous with her time and helped me with foam blocks and extra blankets. I had never seen them used on TV or in the peaceful photos that I wanted to become. I felt like a yoga failure, my body hurt and struggled, my mind interfered and my spirit was deflated, not exactly my ideal yoga experience.

An hour and a half later the instructor had us lie on our backs and listen to the gentle waves of the ocean that she provided on CD. Again, my mind started to berate me saying that I couldn’t do this, I was not flexible enough, I was not peaceful enough and I was definitely not in yoga balance.

My mind, body and spirit were not in alignment during the class. I started to buy into the negative feelings as we wrapped up the class and was wondering why I thought that yoga was right for me.

Just then, the instructor stopped me on my way out of the room. She offered words of encouragement and said that she too had trouble quieting her mind in the beginning.

She said that the mind of a mother is unique, it holds so much and loves so unconditionally; it deserves to be given ample time to relax and be cared for in return.

Thank you oh Yoga Mentor!

I heard what you were saying and I appreciate that you took the time with me. I will be back, I will try to be patient with myself and I will allow my experience to be nurturing instead of forcing a false sense of balance.

For now I am going to take a hot shower, sooth my sore and aching muscles and nourish my bruised spirit by hugging my kids.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

I enjoy my days but love my nights and not for the reasons that you might think. Yes, I look forward to night time because Joe and I get to be alone. I get a few precious minutes of quiet time to think and reflect on the day. But, my favorite part about night time is bedtime and spending it with my boys.

It is one time during the day that we can relax and connect. We all lie on Mommy and Daddy’s bed with the lights off and wind down. We have created a wonderful routine that includes reading books, watching Franklin or Bob the Builder, lying together in bed, and talking while we listen to classical music. It takes us about an hour to get from putting on jammies to going to sleep, but it is worth the time.

We ask AJ who he wants to lay in his bed with him, Mommy or Daddy. It is funny to watch him choose, some days Mommy and some days Daddy, sometimes no thought and others a long debate. Once he has chosen, one of us gets to spend alone time with AJ as he drifts off to sleep and the other gets to rock with Boo; both are wonderful and fulfilling.

I have learned a lot about AJ and connected with him on a deeper level. I would never trade our bedtime routine because it is valuable time well spent. It is a time to talk about the fun things that we did, what was learned in school, friends, and of course the issues that we had during the day.

I make it a point to talk about what happened and why. At the end I tell him how special he is and that I love him. I never want him to go to bed thinking that he is bad or somehow not enough. Bedtime is our time to get out feelings, connect and express love.

Boo likes to walk around his room and say goodnight to the fish on his walls. Then we sit in the rocking chair; listen to classical music and talk. I tell him how much I love him and that he is a special and unique boy. I talk to him about the things that we did during the day. I tell him how smart he is and that I am proud of him. Then I gently lay him in his crib, he cuddles up with blankie and goes to sleep.

We can’t have a conversation like I do with AJ but I want to make sure that he knows how much he is loved and how special he is to me.

I believe that a child’s self esteem is built through positive reinforcement. We will have issues, they will get into trouble and I will have to put them into time out but I want them to learn from it while feeling loved. I think that it is my responsibility to teach them right from wrong and maintain their self confidence at the same time.

At the end of the day we reflect, talk about the issues, separate the behavior from the boy, and reconnect with love.

It is something that I can easily do; I know that they feel good when they go to bed and wake up happy the next day.

That is enough for now and I know that as time goes on we will spend less time lying in bed together and more time talking at the dinner table. I hope that the time that we spend now makes it easier for them to come to us later.

Life can be hard and my wish for them is to get through it with support. I want to be there for them at all ages and want them to feel safe talking to me about anything. I am laying the groundwork for open lines of communication later on and a relationship full of love and mutual respect.

Off to make another Mommy Milestone.

                                     Does that mean me??