Up until around Thanksgiving I had nothing new worth posting. Since Thanksgiving I haven't had time to post anything :) However, the numerous airport delays I've experienced today have given me ample time to relax and write a couple of paragraphs. At first, the delays were almost nice as it allowed me a chance to do absolutely nothing. However, now I'm ready for my journey to be over.

Everything is going well with the pregnancy. Towards the beginning of November I had my 20 week anatomy scan and learned that we are having a boy. The pictures from the 13 week ultrasound were much clearer than it was in the 20 week. It must have been because he was bigger and it was harder to get all of him within the screen. I know the ultrasound tech isn't allowed to say anything indicating whether or not there is a problem. However, throughout the process she kept saying things like, "and your 13 week ultrasound was normal?" The first time didn't make me nervous. However, around the third time she asked I started to get worried. I'm still not sure why she was asking but at my latest doctors visit they confirmed that everything on this ultrasound did look normal :)

I started feeling little flutters of movement around the middle of November. However, within just the last couple of weeks, I've started seeing him move. It's odd, yet comforting, to see my stomach ripple. This usually happens as I go to bed and so my husband hasn't had much of a chance to observe this yet. Up till just a couple of days ago, Baby mostly moved when I got up or went to bed. However, yesterday he was very active in the middle of the day too.

My husband's sister is getting married right after Christmas so last Monday I had to go shopping for an appropriate dress to wear for the wedding. I had really been dreading the shopping experience. In my unpregnant state, I enjoy shopping, especially at a thrift store where it turns into a treasure hunt. Since becoming pregnant, shopping has become much less exciting. However, my shopping experience Monday turned out to be great. There were quite a few "normal" dresses that fit me. In fact, I somehow managed to fit into a normal, non-maternity, size 6 dress. It was a little tight around the bust but I could have worn it. My main problem was finding a dress that didn't show too much of my breasts. By necessity I've had to become a little less self-conscious about showing cleavage Apparently, maternity outfits assume you want to show off your newly enhanced cleavage. However, I did manage to find a couple of dresses that I felt comfortable in. The dress I finally bought didn't even cost as much as my husband's tux rental did :) Of course, I haven't shopped for shoes for it yet so that'll probably eat up all the difference.

I'm still not use to the idea of being pregnant. Most of the time I just feel like I've gained a lot of weight. I assume at some point my disbelief will lift and this will start feeling like reality?

My husband and I unexpectedly attended our first childbirth class Sunday night. I've been debating what type of childbirth method I want to learn. As previously discussed I'm probably going to get an epidural. However, I still want to be as prepared as possible for the labor experience.

After considering the pros and cons of Lamaze, Bradley, and Hynobirthing/Hynobabies, I decided that parts of the Bradley Method were exactly what I was looking for. Truthfully, the McMoyler Method most closely fits my birth philosophy and I'll probably end up ordering the video. However, I wanted an in-person childbirth class that my husband and I could go to together.

I really like that the Bradley Method takes a holistic approach to birth. I feel like most of the other childbirth methods ignore the pregnancy until you get to labor. However, the Bradley method starts out by discussing good nutrition and exercise. Everything I've read implies that labor is one of the most grueling experiences a woman will ever go through. With that in mind, it seems training and getting/keeping your body healthy would be essential aspects of any labor preparation.

I don't like how negatively the Bradley method perceives modern medical practices. One of the common lines I continually hear is that women have been giving birth naturally for thousands of years. True, but a lot more women and babies use to die than do now*. Like many things in life, I think you need a good balance between "natural" births and medical interventions.

Given my conflicting feelings about the Bradley method, I wasn't sure it would make sense to take the class. Saturday night I got online to explore what classes were available if I decided I did want to take a Bradley class. Of the three instructors in our area, one taught Saturday mornings which wouldn't work for me and the second one was out on maternity leave until April. There was only one other class offered within our area. I emailed the instructor to see what her class schedule and openings would be like. Sunday morning I checked my email and the instructor had responded that she had a class starting that night. I talked my conflicting feelings over with my husband and eventually we decided to go ahead and attend the class.

The class was pretty much what I expected, both in terms of hopes and fears. Overall, I think it will be a good experience. I'm also planning to take the birthing class offered through the hospital in order to give me a better idea of their standard approach.

*According to The Best Birth by Sarah McMoyler since 1900 there has been a 90 percent drop in infant mortality and a 99 percent drop in maternal mortality.

At 17 weeks, I think I'm in the awkward stage of pregnancy. In my first trimester, as long as I ate constantly, I rarely threw up but I did have the general miserable feeling. I heard this would likely go away in second trimester and I would start glowing. In fact, several people have claimed that I'm glowing now but I think it's their imagination. It wasn't until around week 16 that I started feeling normal again. However, "normal" now feels strange. I'm back to the strange feeling that I'm not pregnant after all. Allegedly I might feel baby move any day now but so far nothing (though I understand this is normal with first babies).

This awkward feeling extends to my wardrobe. A couple of years ago I lost about 20 pounds. Once my normal clothes were too tight, I switched to my bigger, older clothes. In fact, this might be the first time since my teen years that the clothing manufacturers and I agree what the waist to hip ratio should be. Previously, it was the rare pair of pants that didn't require belt. However, the days of my larger clothes fitting are almost gone. I've slowly started to ease into maternity clothing. However, I'm still too small for most of them to fit comfortably.

Monday I went shopping for maternity clothing. I've already determined that the thrift stores have almost no maternity clothing. I don't remember the last time I paid more than $20 for a single piece of clothing and I had no urge to start. However, maternity clothing is expensive. Fortunately, I found a used maternity clothing store called Fuzzy Kiwi. It has odd hours but my day off was Monday so I managed to get down there to view their selection. There were still too many items that fit awkwardly on me but I did manage to buy a couple of items that look decent, or will soon. The prices were more than I'd pay at a thrift store (and I did go over the $20 mark for some dresses) but it was still significantly cheaper than new. I stopped by Target on the way home and was pleasantly surprised to find a good pair of maternity work pants for a very reasonable price. (I mention that I don't believe in paying too much money for clothes but I also like high quality clothing which usually has meant avoiding Target/Walmart/etc. Thrift stores provide much better quality clothing at cheaper prices).

Hopefully, I have enough clothing to last me for a couple more months. While I know I'm going to need more clothes, I doubt I'll look forward to clothes shopping until after baby has arrived.

At 1:30 AM Monday morning I woke up with a splitting headache.  I lay awake for a couple of minutes and then decided to go downstairs, drink some tea and read a book while hoping the headache would dissipate on its own.  An hour later, the pain seemed better so I decided it was time to try bed again.  As soon as I lay down, the pain was back.  I thrashed around a little bit more.  Eventually, I decided to give up and take some acetaminophen (Tylenol).  For some reason, I tend to be a little resistant to taking medication to deal with pain.  I don't know why.  I'm not scared of pain medication, However, I would prefer if the pain would go away on its own.  The pain started lessening within the next half hour and eventually I dropped off to sleep.  I woke up at 6:00 AM almost giddy with the realization that the pain was completely gone.   

Ever since I started researching pregnancy, I've been trying to decide whether or not I would want to get an epidural.  Pain medication for labor has evolved immensely in the last decade and many of the concerns that were valid a couple of decades ago aren't as much of an issue anymore (btw, I'm still researching the pros and cons of epidurals/pain medications so feel free to post links to research you've found in the comments below).  As I mentioned in my previous post, I really enjoyed reading The Best Birth book.  When talking about natural childbirth, McMoyler said something that resonated with me, "I believe that avoiding epidurals and medical interventions is an excellent goal--but only in the same way that climbing a very tall mountain is an excellent goal: For some people, it's great; for others it simply isn't doable" (p. 167). 

As I mentioned above, I tend to be a little resistant to taking pain medication and I do like a challenge.  However, lying in bed pain-free at 6AM Monday morning I couldn't think of any good reason why I should refuse an epidural.  If it felt this good being pain-free after a minor headache, why would I consider going through labor without pain medication?  Again, if I find good research studies indicating that pain medication is likely to negatively effect my baby or me in the long term, I'll reconsider.  However, for now, I'm strongly leaning towards getting an epidural at some point during my labor.

This last week I finished reading The Best Birth by Sarah McMoyler and Armin Brott as well as Easy Labor by William Camann and Kathryn J. Alexander. 

The Best Birth book is currently one of my favorite childbirth books.  McMoyler and Brott spent a lot of time discussing how husbands can be  involved in the birth process.  In addition, they covered various pain coping methods including both natural methods and medication options.  I felt like this was one of the most balanced books I'd read.  It seems like many books try to push either all natural childbirth or just assume you'll choose an epidural.  I liked that the focus of this book is "healthy mother, healthy baby" and however you choose to get that result is okay.  McMoyler also has a DVD called The Best Birth.  Unfortunately, it's not available in any libraries but I liked her book enough that I'm probably going to go ahead and buy the DVD.  The only downside I encountered in the book is they didn't recommend using doulas.  The reason given is that your husband should be providing the support that a doula usually does.  She also mentioned that some doctors/hospitals are uncomfortable with them.  However, this isn't true in my case, I've already checked. 

I'm a little nervous about only having my husband to help me through labor.  I know the nurses and doctors will be there to help me but they need to split their attention between me and all the other women on the maternity floor.  It would be nice to have another person focusing just on me and my husband.  Instead of hiring a labor doula, McMoyler suggestions hiring one to help with postpartum care.  This does make a lot of sense to me but at the same time I think I might want additional support during the labor.  I haven't decided one way or the other yet.  I'll probably need to discuss this with my husband more and see what he thinks.  In any case, I would have appreciated it if the book covered where a doula would fit in if you wanted to have one with you.

Before reading The Best Birth, I read Easy Labor.  This book had a lot of information especially regarding pain medication options.  It did include descriptions of Lamaze, the Bradley Method, Hynotherapy, and more but I felt like most of the space was devoted to pain medication and other possible medical interventions.  Even though I didn't like it as well as The Best Birth, I think it provides the most thorough information about pain options.  Even if I decide not to use pain medication, I think it's useful to understand the pros and cons so one can make an informed decision since it seems labor almost never goes according to plan :)  Camann and Alexander were also featured on an episode of Pregtastic.  I really enjoy listening to the Pregtastic podcasts as they have many experts on to talk about pregnancy related issues as well as the chance to hear many womens' birth stories.

Last Thursday I went to a clinic for first trimester screening.  From what I hear, it's a relatively new test that combines your family history, an ultrasound screen and a blood test and  comes up with the probability that your baby might have Down syndrome, Trisomy 13, or Trisomy 18 abnormalities.  I'm only 29 so my risk was relatively low but I always like double checking everything :)  The ultrasound results were reassuring but I didn't get the blood work results back until today.  They also were positive good (my husband pointed out that positive generally means bad things in this context.  The test were all normal indicating no abnormalities).  As with everything, they can't tell me there's no chance our child will have a chromosome abnormality but it is unlikely.

This is the test my husband and I have been waiting for to start telling everyone.  Our mothers have been straining at the bit to start boasting so I expect the whole world to know by tomorrow now that they have the go-ahead :)

In other news, I finally tackled the closet in our soon-to-be-ex-library and new baby room.  The closet is now empty awaiting baby stuff.

 I am librarian.  Contrary to popular belief, librarians are not paid to sit and read all day.  However, most librarians do love books.  I'm hoping my children will also learn to love books.  The problem I'm currently facing is how to introduce them to books.  I've never worked with children before and I don't have the first clue about which books children do and do not like.  In the past couple of weeks I've done some preliminary research about how to choose books for infants.  So far, I've learned that I should start with books that have high contrast images and rhyming text.

Today I had time to stop by several thrift stores and start picking out board books that hopefully our child will find entertaining.  Here's what I got:

• All Aboard 1 2 3 4 (this is actually a foam book that isn't appropriate until at least age 1)
• The Alphabet Book
  
• Bialosky's House: A Color Book
  
• Bitty Bear at Play
• Curious George and the Bunny
• Guess How Much I Love You
  
• A Little Book of Numbers
• Time for Bed
• Thomas the Tank Engine's Hidden Surprises
  
• Trucks
  

Of course, I also plan to check out books from the library but one can never have too many books.  Anybody have suggestions of books you or your babies loved?  I'm starting a list of books I need to acquire :)

Monday I went to another doctor appointment.  I didn't expect it to be terribly exciting but to my surprise I discovered that they were going to try to hear the baby's heartbeat.  The nurse warned me that it wasn't certain they would be able to this early in the pregnancy.  It took a while to find the right spot but all of a sudden loud and clear there was my baby's heartbeat.  It was very surreal but also comforting.  Baby is still in there and currently appears to be doing fine.

After that, the doctor came in and talked for a bit.  She mentioned that I had gained too much weight (she put it much more diplomatically but that's what she meant).  I already knew this as I weigh myself daily.  I actually appeared to be two pounds heavier than I really was that day (I had gone hiking the previous day and always gain a couple of pounds the next day that come right off).  However, I've still gained more than is ideal for the first trimester.  Ironically, I use to have a problem with eating too much because I love food.  Since around week 6, I haven't been terribly interested in eating but it seems to be the only way to prevent morning sickness.  When it comes to a decision between gaining weight and throwing up, I've consistently chosen gaining weight.

Tuesday I decided to try cutting back my first breakfast in an attempt to reduce my calorie intake a little bit.  Instead of eating a slice of peanut butter applesauce toast, I just ate a couple pears.  As I was driving on the interstate in route to work, I sudden felt extremely nauseated.  I  frantically went through a mental inventory of everything in the car that might work as a bag in case I actually threw up.  I had nothing suitable.  Fortunately, I had the foresight to pack a couple of Triscuits for a snack later in the day.  I managed to get enough of them in me that my nausea subsided.  Due to this experiment, I decided that breakfast was not the time to try to reduce calories and that my morning sickness was real and not all in my head.  By mid-afternoon my morning sickness has usually subsided so I've cut back on my afternoon snacks and at this point my weight appears to have stabilized.  However, I am going through Triscuits at an appalling rate.  I'm going to Costco tomorrow and I'm hoping they carry Triscuits in bulk :)

Before I was pregnant I read everything I could find about what I should expect.  Several books recommended that I keep a journal of my pregnancy.  This seemed like a good idea so I started this blog.  However, I think these books forgot to mention that, at least for me, the first trimester of pregnancy is pretty boring.  This is probably good.  It's much better to have a boring, predictable pregnancy than an exciting one filled with unexpected complications.

I still feel lousy most days.  However, I've only thrown up three times.  I have food aversions and bloating but I haven't experienced the other potential first trimester signs such as fatigue.

Currently, my husband and I feel like we're in a holding pattern.  We've only told my family and a few friends that I'm pregnant but it's getting harder and harder to avoid accidentally telling people.  I have my next doctor appointment Monday and, assuming everything sounds normal, we're thinking of starting to spread the news after that.  It'll be a relief to finally tell people, especially my co-workers.  Every morning I've been carefully analyzing my wardrobe and once dressed, I'll ask my husband, "does this make me look pregnant?"

My mother sent me a fascinating article from the American Academy of Physician called "Spontaneous Vaginal Delivery." Only the abstract is online but if you happen to be near a library that carries it, it's an interesting read.  I was particularly surprised to hear epidurals slow labor down (338).  From the anecdotal stories I've heard, I had received the impression that epidurals sped up the process of labor, not slowed it down. I suppose this is yet another reason it's important to make decisions based on research rather than assumptions :) 

Our baby received its first article of clothing yesterday.  My mother sent a "Don't Ask, Don't Smell" onesie along with a board book.  Hm, I wonder if I should start thinking of storage for baby stuff.  I'm only 9 weeks pregnant so it seems a little premature to be worrying about this stuff but maybe it isn't . . .

I love peanut butter.  Adam's Peanut Butter bought in Costco-sized jars permeated my life growing up.  Our morning breakfasts almost always included peanut butter in some form.  We often ate fruit toast* but sometimes we'd just have waffles with lots of peanut butter and syrup on top. During the Christmas season, my mother would always make "Christmas Candy" which inevitably included peanut butter balls dipped in chocolate.

Several years ago, when I started researching pregnancy, I was appalled to discover that the American Academy of Pediatrics recommended atopic women avoid peanuts while pregnant and breastfeeding.  The theory was that the baby could develop an allergy to peanuts from this early exposure.  I'm atopic and my brother-in-law is allergic to peanuts.  I glumly decided that for the happiness of my child later in life, I would have to abstain from consuming peanuts for several years.

However, just a couple months before I actually became pregnant, the American Academy of Pediatrics reversed their stance on peanuts!  According to them, "At the present time, there is lack of evidence that maternal dietary restrictions during pregnancy play a significant role in the prevention of atopic disease in infants" (source).  I'm excited and very relieved.  This past week toasted peanut butter and jelly sandwiches are one of the few lunch items I don't have any aversion to eating.  I can't imagine what I would be eating if I had to avoid peanuts.  Maybe almond butter and jelly sandwhiches?  It just doesn't sound right.

Neither my husband nor I have food allergies but both of our immediate families do.  When it comes to food tolerances, I'm really hoping our children take after us rather than our family.

* Fruit toast is toasted whole wheat bread slathered with peanut butter and topped with some sort of fruit sauce, often applesauce.

At my conference last week I discovered a pastry shop that makes exquisite danishes.  I'm a pretty decent cook but I can't make pastries.  However, once I got home, I decided it was time to try again.  I pulled out my copy of King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking and attempted their Cheese Danish recipe.  They didn't turn out horrible, but neither were they fantastic.  

The pastry dough was too tough.  I can't decide if I kneaded too long, added too much flour, or the toughness was the natural result of including some whole wheat flour in the recipe. The whole wheat flour I use is the King Arthur White Whole Wheat Flour.  It's one of my favorite flours to bake with.  In most items, such as cookies and sweet breads, I can use at least 50% of the white whole wheat without a noticeable difference.  The recipe did specify whole wheat pastry flour but I've made these substitutions before without any issues.  It's also possible that I just need more practice making danishes before they come out right. However, it's such a labor intensive process I probably won't try it anytime soon.  After all, donuts are much easier to make and just as tasty :)

If you bake and are looking to increase your use of whole grains, I strongly recommended going to your library and seeing if they have a copy of King Arthur Flour Whole Grain Baking.  My cheese danishes notwithstanding, almost every recipe I've tried from this book has turned out great.  I've made Hazelnut Waffles with Pear compote, Chewy Oatmeal Cookies, Lemon-Oat Squares and Baked Oatmeal.  They aren't necessarily the healthiest of recipes but they taste great and you can pretend they're healthy with the various whole grain flours the recipes use.  

Another baking book I love is The Bread Bible by Rose Levy Beranbaum.  She provides very detailed directions for all of her recipes.  In addition, Bernabaum adds little "understanding" notes explaining why certain ingredients work the way they do within the recipe.  Most of her recipes call for using bread flour.  However, I've had very good luck substituting half of the flour (by weight) with white whole wheat flour and adding about 1 tbs of vita wheat gluten per cup of whole wheat flour (to compensate for the protein differences between the flours).  Bernabaum is a stickler for precision and would probably be horrified to see how I mutilate the recipes.  However, the recipes still turn out great.  Her Cinnamon Raisin Loaf recipe is particularly good as a base for French Toast.

It's ironic that as soon as I have something worth writing about about, I don't have any time to write.   A week ago last Thursday, I had my first official prenatal visit.  My husband came along as the receptionist had said that I was going to get my first ultrasound.  I had no idea they did ultrasounds so early in a pregnancy.  We learned that our baby does have a heart beat, is correctly implanted in the uterus, and there's only one in there.

My morning sickness hasn't gotten any worse.  I suppose I should consider myself lucky.  However, I have developed an aversion to vegetables and dark chocolate.  Before I was pregnant, I was very diligent in making sure I was eating tons of veggies and huge green salads.  Now I can't stand them unless they're deeply hidden in some other dish.  This is particularly distressing since I have a CSA share and have been receiving large quantities of vegetables.  The vegetables have been sitting in my refrigerator glaring reproachfully at me every time I open the door.

Most of this last week I've been gone to a conference in Canada.  To my relief, I managed to keep my food down the entire time though there were some tricky moments in the airplane coming back. It was a good conference but I'm very glad to be back home.

I've heard stories of women who claimed they knew the instant they conceived.  I did not have this flash of insight.  In fact, I've been fairly convinced that the three positive pregnancy tests have been the result of some huge misunderstanding.  I just didn't feel pregnant.  Today, I had my first bought of morning sickness.  I feel pregnant now.  However, I have good news.  Morningstar Veggie Patties don't taste bad coming back up.